New Year's Resolution

My New Year’s resolution (which I can make 2 weeks into the New Year if I want) is to be more like Amy Poehler and Tina Fey. I watched the Golden Globes and I imagined that in 5 years when I am an ultra-famous star because Ellen has finally accepted that fact that I am supposed to work for her (which I will be doing after I go crazy and fly to Cali this summer to give her a chance to see my beautiful face), I will be blast into superstardom and be nominated for all kinds of snazzy awards. The first award I will win of course will be a Grammy because, well duh, I have the VOICE OF AN ANGEL! So after that, I will do what all musicians do and become an actress, star in a movie with Meryl Streep and be sent to the Golden Globes to accept my award for Best Actress in a Drama/Comedy. Much like a similar actress who has the same name as me, I too will beat Meryl! Back to the point, I imagined whose table I will be sitting at and my first thought was I will be with Meryl Streep and Julie Roberts because they let Taylor Swift sit there so their standards must not be too high, but then I was like NO! I will become Tine Fey and Amy Poehler's sidekick and host with them! I mean if you can sit there and say you do not like either of these actresses then you are a liar! I read this article, (let me paste it right here for you so that you can read it too) 21 Reasons Tina Fey And Amy Poehler Should Be Every Girls' Role Model(if you are too lazy to open and read that then I will be summarizing below but I won’t summarize it all so you really should read it. I mean really come on now, just read it). These reason alone made me come to the conclusion that I need to be more like them in the coming year and beyond.

Now I won’t comment on every one of the points made because there is 21 of them and that is just a lot of points to have to make and I mean really, you just need to really know the main reasons. So the first reason is (on the list it is number 4) they can dress sexy without being slutty. This is extremely hard to do as a 23 year old female. When you go out to the bar there is a very fine line you have to walk to not cross into the "slut spectrum". When I go out I want people to look at me and say, “She is fine!” without saying ‘She’s one fine looking tramp!” It is a tough line to navigate and this year, I will walk that line and I will walk it with the skill of an Olympic balance beam competitor. Number 2) they do what they want, and really don’t care if other people like it or not. They are not afraid to push the envelope and do something that “ladies are not supposed to do”. Hello, that sounds like a lot of fun to me! I want to be someone who does what I want and not care what anyone else says about it. I mean duh, who doesn’t. Tina Fey is a writer, which as you can all see by reading this blog that I am a writer (or paid some poor English major to write for me, you will never know). I may not be very good at it, and you may not enjoy what I have to say but I like to write so I am going to do it anyways. I want to write more this year. Hey, maybe I will try to do some freelance this year, or write a novel! Who knows, I could write the next cult classic film like Tina Fey did with Mean Girls.  Or I could just be more consistent with writing this blog, but then where is the fun in that. Tina wanted to be a writer so she made it happen; Amy wanted to do comedy so they made it happen. I like to think I am pretty funny, not just funny looking, so there is another point in my favor of reaching my resolution. Both of these ladies took a chance and it appears to have worked out really well for them. Since I have already quit my job to take a chance on something I think will make me happy, then I am practically their twin already (if you count the comedy and writing thing, which I do since I am in charge of the point tallying). They are also both very smart. They have figured out how to be so hilariously funny that people want to follow them and be like them. I also like to think of myself as pretty smart. I may not be the brightest crayon in the box but I am not the dullest either. I like to think of myself as the magenta of crayons. It is bright but not too bright. It has a really cool and unique name and it is the color that everyone reaches for when they need that one special color to bring everything together. So yep, that is me, Miss Magenta. Okay the final reason is they know how to be a best friend. Which is exactly what I want since I want them to become my new BFF’s when I finally get to Hollywood and become famous! Also I like to think of myself as a really good friend. If you are my friend, and don’t think that I am a good friend, well maybe it is really you that sucks! Everyone should know how to be a good friend to people so it is a valuable lesson to have.

SO even though it is 2 weeks late that is my New Year’s resolution! Since I was smarter than all you fools and waited awhile to make it, I haven’t screwed it up yet, so Ha! Ha! Ha! And stayed tuned because tomorrow my blog is full of all the wisdom on seducing a man I have learned from the first two episodes of this seasons The Bachelor.