Grown up but not

    Jobless. Free. Not a girl, not yet a woman. Single. Young. Wild. Funny. Smart. Stupid. These are some of the words that people use to describe me. The ones I want to talk about are the one that the pop princess Britney Spears sang about me, "I am not a girl, but not yet a woman." I know I am 23 and supposed to be a grown up and start acting like that but do I really have to be ready to be a complete grown up. Can I sometimes still make mistakes and do stupid "childish" things? HELL YEAH I CAN, because I do. I am a grown up but then not a grown up at all. 
    I am jobless. Yep, I am. I went to college for 5 years (because I wanted to be extra smart when I graduated so took an extra year) then got a job. Then I did what any reasonable adult and quit that job because I finally figured out what I wanted to do with my life. Well what 2 things I wanted to do with my life but in order to not continue talking about how I am destined to be the next Ellen, I will focus on the one that requires school. I love school. I am a loser who loves school. I think that yeah this can make me a little childish that I quit my job but then again am I not a grown up because I finally figured out my destiny? I THINK SO! I think it is part of growing up. Branching out and taking a leap of faith. A semi blind leap. To all those people who tell me to grow up and actually do something, GET OFF ME!
     I do not want to be in a hurry to grow up. I still want to take my time being young and dumb. Why does one have to choose? Why can't I be a young and dumb grown up? I know how to do grown up things. I can take care of myself. I had a job. But I also am in no hurry to stop doing fun, spur of the moment trips. I want to spend what little money I have now (because I am jobless) and travel. I want to worry about the adult responsibilities when I get back and take a trip somewhere. Anywhere really, because I have no obligations. I will finish my school (again) like an adult, I will get a job, a house of my own, and pay my own bills... One day but not now. I want to continue to walk the line of being young and old. I want to keep my childish ways but maybe adapt them to the way an adult would think. I think one of the greatest things about me is that I know how to act mature, I know the responsibilities that are required of me but I also know how to push those aside for a while and just have fun so that is what I will do. I will continue to be grown up but not and if you don't like it I do not care.