Suggestion Box

I get that it has been a while since I have written. So to my million fans I am sorry. I have been having a hard time finding inspiration and you deserve more than a half-hearted post so here is something special. So for this long overdue post, I am going to write about accepting yourself and accepting that s*** happens. Okay, so that can be a little vague but let me explain myself (which is kinda the point of this blog, to explain myself and how I see things.) So I look back at my 23 long years of life and realize that I have made one HUGE mistake. I have also made several small mistakes along the way KNOW, I KNOW. The illusion of me being perfect is lost forever. I used to look at mistakes as these awful little things. This monster to be scared of, to hide from, to tremble in terror at the thought of, this thing that could keep me from being perfect. One mistake could bring the illusion of my perfectness come crashing down. The world could stop turning. I realize now that I was a tad dramatic back in the day. Now you are probably asking what do mistakes have to do with accepting yourself, well let me tell you: I was scared to make mistakes because I was scared about what that would mean about me and how people saw me. If I made mistakes people would look at me as this big idiot, whether I saw myself as that or not. So I started to look at mistakes as these horrible things that would define me in a horrible way. WRONG!! These mistakes only define me if I am stupid enough to let them. If I am stupid enough to not accept myself for all my flaws.

Some of the biggest mistakes in my life have come from being so worried about what others thought and others accepting me that I have done things I never wanted to do. WHAT A MORON! From now on if people don’t like something I am doing, they can put there suggestion on how I live my life in my suggestion box and I will be SURE to get around to checking it. I am in the midst of changing the direction my life is heading. Of taking a turn and going down a new road. I have accepted that some people think this new road is a stupid one for me to go down. It is something I will suck at, something I am not smart enough to do. Well to those people let me say this: I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK! Frankly, I don’t need you in my life. I have finally reached a point in my life where I am accepting myself and if you can’t accept me for the way I am then piss on you. I have had these same doubts about myself, I won’t lie. I have thought I am a big ol’ idiot and I am going to fail; I will never be smart enough to do this. I feed in to the ways other saw me and accepted that as who I was instead of making them accept me. Yeah, okay, okay, I have made a lot of stupid decisions in my life. Like this one time I cut my hair and it looked awful. I mean I have these beautiful luscious locks with magical powers and I cut them off. But guess what, I cut them off because I WANTED TO DO IT, even though everyone else was like nooooooooooo! Point is I took a risk because it was what I wanted at the time.

As a 23 year old “adult-child” I am finally becoming comfortable in my own skin. I am finally accepting who I am. I am finally living my life the way I want. I am finally taking leaps of faith in myself. I am finally accepting that S*** HAPPENS! I think that is something everyone learns in their life. It has taken me longer to learn. I am finally at a point where I am accepting myself and all the negative and mean things people say to me I am letting roll off my shoulder. Haters are going to hate. People are going to judge and be critical. At the end of the day the only opinion about you that matters is the one that you decide for YOURSELF (drops mic and walks away).