Growing up in 2013

Everyone and their mom is about to do some post about all the things that 2013 taught them. Well since I don’t want to miss out on the trend, I am going to spend my last post of this year talking about all the things I learned in 2013. YAY! I need you to control you excitement about the wisdom I am about to instill in you. Now some of what I learned is going to sound like a repeat of a blog post I have already made (since this is a yearend summary) so just suck it up and read it again. Or don’t, see if I care! It is going to be lessons I learned from others as well as the lessons I have learned through my own experience of living and breathing and stuff. So without further ado, here is the lessons 2013 has taught me:

1)      Miley Cyrus taught me that if you want to swing around naked on a wrecking ball while licking a sledgehammer you can because you are your OWN person and allowed to do what YOU want. She also taught me how enticing swinging around on a wrecking ball (clothing optional) can be! It is something to put on my bucket list I never considered before! No, in all seriousness Miley did teach me that when you are young you are going to do things that other people are going to frown upon. People are going to criticize you and say hurtful things about you, but you just have to stick your tongue out to the haters. It is okay to make mistakes when you are young and still trying to find “you”! It is okay to do things other people do not like as long as you stand by your decisions and don’t cave to the pressure of society.

2)      I went to Europe this year and it taught me that one sure way to help discover more about yourself is to travel. To experience things you never have before and probably never will again. It will open your eyes to a whole new perspective on life. I learned to appreciate the things I take for granted everyday but I also learned to appreciate other’s perspective of the world. I have this attitude that America is the greatest and everyone wants to be us! Well I mean yeah we are the greatest but there are some other pretty amazing places and people out there as well. People who can teach me more than I ever could have learned otherwise. I want to see all there is to see. I want to meet as many people as possible.

3)      I watch the television show FRIENDS every night before I go to bed and this year I finally learned the lesson it had been trying to teach me all along; As you get older your friends become your family. They become the people who support you in your decisions even when you have lost your ever loving mind. Yeah having friends who are there any time you want to go out and get crazy are awesome, but having friends who are there when your life gets crazy are THE BEST! No, for real the best. I have learned that I am truly bless with the friends I have in my life. I am now looking at the friends I have to make sure they are worth keeping, if not then I will have to tell them, “You are the weakest link, goodbye!” No more friends who like to pick out all my flaws and make fun of them but ones that have my back and will risk going to jail because I have murdered the little skanks that keep kissing my boyfriend Zac Efron! No more dulling my shine Biatches! You better be here to make me sparkle or you are out!

4)      I have discovered my calling is life is to be Ellen Degeneres’ understudy.  I mean I can dance, I know a lot of corny jokes, I love to talk to people, and let’s face it I’m hilarious. Now I have tried and failed to get in touch with Ellen. For some reason she is choosing to ignore me. I take this as a sign she wants to see how persistent I can be and well I will not give up! Or maybe I am on her list of crazed fans and she has a restraining order against me. Well Ellen if you are reading this, I’m still ready to come work for you. Anytime, really. Anytime at all. Just call me.

5)      If for some reason this whole Ellen thing does not pan out, I have decided upon another career I think will make me happy. When I started school a million years ago I was going to be a doctor and be all Grey’s Anatomy cool. Well that requires you to be like really smart which sadly is something I am not. I changed my mind a few times, graduated and took something us in the real world like to call a “big kid” job (barf). I have realized this is not the type of career I want for my life forever so I am changing my mind again. I can do that, ya know. I can change my mind as many times as I want. I can try something else. I learned that this year. I thought once I graduated I was stuck with whatever career I wanted. It was too late for me. Well boy was I wrong! I can change my mind as many times as I want. Life is bound to be full of a few U-Turns, dead ends and windy roads.

6)      I think the hardest part of like is straight from a Taylor Swift song. The lyrics go, “Oh, I’m just a girl trying to find a place in this world.” Who knew when T-Swizzle wrote about something other than the slew of men she dates, she could right such truth? This year has taught me I do not have it all figured out. I am still trying to find what it is that makes me, me.  It is not easy to do but that’s okay. Life is a journey. I should never stop trying to make myself the best version I can be. I do not have to have it all figured out at age 23. This year I realized that I am pretty freaking awesome! Like seriously, if you don’t know me then I feel bad for you. I rock. But I am still looking to be better and looking for a place in this world where I can truly shine.

7)      I have reached the age of marriage. It is that time in your life where your friends start getting hitched and if you don’t follow close behind you are destined to be an old cat lady. Well I don’t really like cats so maybe I can get dogs, or ducks, or a pig! I’ve always wanted a pig. Anyways. I am not knocking marriage. I am extremely happy for all my friends who have found that person they are destined to be with and ready to take that leap. All I am saying is I am not ready for that by any means. I have to know who I am and where I want to go first before I can give myself wholly to another person. I am not saying I don’t want a relationship. If somebody comes and sweeps me off my feet then I will embark on that journey. I am just not going to go looking for it. It will happen when it is supposed to happen and until then I am going to be happy single and working on myself. I will be happy dating and of course being COURTED!

8)      Some girl by the name of Jennifer Lawrence came onto the scene this year and taught us all some very important things. Like first she taught us that people named Jennifer who come from Louisville are totally kick-ass. Besides that she has taught me to be comfortable in my own skin. Society and other people are always going to have something to say about your appearance but “SCREW THEM”. You HAVE to be comfortable in your own skin no matter what anyone else says. If you are like me and have no curves (besides my Beyoncé butt) then you are too thin and a bean pole and need to eat more. If you have curves then you are too fat and need to go on a diet. Well you cannot win. There is no happy medium anymore. J-Law has taught me to be happy with who you are no matter what others have to say about it. Embrace your own skin and all its faults!

9)      This year has taught me that even though bad things happen there are still people who are truly good people. I have always been told I am too trusting of the world around me. That I am not away enough of the bad things that could happen to me. Well the way I see it is that they COULD happen, not that they WILL happen. I choose to focus on the good side. I choose to see that there is good in everyone and we just have to give people a chance to prove it. There are random acts of kindness every day. People that do these random acts for the sake of doing them and not for the praise or recognition. This is what I need to do more of in the next year. Random acts that make someone else smile. The warm fuzzy feeling that goes along with helping people should be what I work to accomplish. I declare 2014 the year of kindness!

10)  Okay, so here we are, the 10^th and final thing I learned this year. Are you ready? Are you sure?? The final thing I learned this year is that life is supposed to be FUN. Yeah sure sometimes you have to “act like a grown up and do grown up things” but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy them. If you have job that feels like a death eater is sucking the life out of you, quit and find something you like. It is not about money, it is about happiness. It is not about taking life so serious that you let all these little moments pass you by. When I leave this world I want to leave those around me memories of all the fun moments we had together. I do not want to leave them my “worldly possessions”. I want to leave them me. So stop, take a second and have some fun!

Suggestion Box

I get that it has been a while since I have written. So to my million fans I am sorry. I have been having a hard time finding inspiration and you deserve more than a half-hearted post so here is something special. So for this long overdue post, I am going to write about accepting yourself and accepting that s*** happens. Okay, so that can be a little vague but let me explain myself (which is kinda the point of this blog, to explain myself and how I see things.) So I look back at my 23 long years of life and realize that I have made one HUGE mistake. I have also made several small mistakes along the way KNOW, I KNOW. The illusion of me being perfect is lost forever. I used to look at mistakes as these awful little things. This monster to be scared of, to hide from, to tremble in terror at the thought of, this thing that could keep me from being perfect. One mistake could bring the illusion of my perfectness come crashing down. The world could stop turning. I realize now that I was a tad dramatic back in the day. Now you are probably asking what do mistakes have to do with accepting yourself, well let me tell you: I was scared to make mistakes because I was scared about what that would mean about me and how people saw me. If I made mistakes people would look at me as this big idiot, whether I saw myself as that or not. So I started to look at mistakes as these horrible things that would define me in a horrible way. WRONG!! These mistakes only define me if I am stupid enough to let them. If I am stupid enough to not accept myself for all my flaws.

Some of the biggest mistakes in my life have come from being so worried about what others thought and others accepting me that I have done things I never wanted to do. WHAT A MORON! From now on if people don’t like something I am doing, they can put there suggestion on how I live my life in my suggestion box and I will be SURE to get around to checking it. I am in the midst of changing the direction my life is heading. Of taking a turn and going down a new road. I have accepted that some people think this new road is a stupid one for me to go down. It is something I will suck at, something I am not smart enough to do. Well to those people let me say this: I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK! Frankly, I don’t need you in my life. I have finally reached a point in my life where I am accepting myself and if you can’t accept me for the way I am then piss on you. I have had these same doubts about myself, I won’t lie. I have thought I am a big ol’ idiot and I am going to fail; I will never be smart enough to do this. I feed in to the ways other saw me and accepted that as who I was instead of making them accept me. Yeah, okay, okay, I have made a lot of stupid decisions in my life. Like this one time I cut my hair and it looked awful. I mean I have these beautiful luscious locks with magical powers and I cut them off. But guess what, I cut them off because I WANTED TO DO IT, even though everyone else was like nooooooooooo! Point is I took a risk because it was what I wanted at the time.

As a 23 year old “adult-child” I am finally becoming comfortable in my own skin. I am finally accepting who I am. I am finally living my life the way I want. I am finally taking leaps of faith in myself. I am finally accepting that S*** HAPPENS! I think that is something everyone learns in their life. It has taken me longer to learn. I am finally at a point where I am accepting myself and all the negative and mean things people say to me I am letting roll off my shoulder. Haters are going to hate. People are going to judge and be critical. At the end of the day the only opinion about you that matters is the one that you decide for YOURSELF (drops mic and walks away).

What college never taught me.

College, those 5 glorious years of freedom. Where if you don’t want to show up to class,you don’t have too! If you want to wear sweats everyday, more power too you. You haven’t your washed your hair in 3 days (ya nasty) but it is okay because no one else has either. The days where you got a month off for Christmas, a week in the spring so you could get away and 2 whole months in the summer where you could frolic in the sunshine all day long. College is a blast!!  Yeah it can be stressful during finals week when you have 5 papers and 5 exams all two days apart but usually it's your own fault for putting it off for so long! College taught me how to put everything off until the last minute and still manage to get it done. College taught me that I will take classes that will suck all the life out of me just because its “required” for my major. College taught me that life is not always fair but you need to put on your big girl panties and figure out how to deal with it. It taught me I am accountable for my work and my mom will not always be there to bail me out. And finally it taught me a little bit about the person I really was all along. It allowed me to flourish like an adult but within the safety net of its walls.  But for all that college taught me, when I left those walls, I felt extremely unprepared for the real world.

When you enter college at the age of 18, you are expected to pick a major and that major will determine the rest of your life course. I was in no way prepared to make that decision and I choose based on something I thought I wanted but even more importantly, something my family wanted for me. I changed my major a few times and finally landed upon something that was easy. From 18-22, I had no idea what I wanted to do for ever. I picked some things I thought would be cool (and my family "recommended" I do) but I always had a chance to change my mind. I always had more time to explore what was a good fit for me.  College (I am referring to college as a person so bare with me) handed me this degree and told me I was ready to take on the world. I had the degree I needed to find my dream job. Then reality came crashing down on me and fast. What I wanted when I was 20 years old and changed my major for the last time was not what I wanted for ever. I had no safety net to fall back on. I could not just say wait never mind, I don’t want this job anymore, quit, and sign up for something else that night. No sir, once I made the decision I was stuck so I better choose wisely. Gone were the days I could say' " Hey I don’t really feel like working today so I wont, I get 3 unexcused absences anyways. Hey Christmas is here, see you in a month." WRONG! That month turned into one day. College did not teach me what a 401k is, a w-2 form, what all the insurance lingo is, and what to do if I feel completely lost. Where I could look for guidance with out feeling completely incompetent. I can no longer hide in my favorite teachers office until it all clicked in my head. Worst of all, gone were the days of wearing sweatpants in public. You now have to look presentable in public, EVERYDAY! 

I think college is great but college also sucks. I shouldn’t have to make a decision at 18 about what I want to do for the rest of my life when I haven’t even begun to figure out who I even am. Yeah, college can teach me all the educational information I need but I get out there and have never had the experience that is needed. Yes, I can take an internship but is that experience. Not really. Working 10-15 hours a week isn’t experience. And even if you worked a part time job, was it a part time job doing what you wanted to do forever, probably not. College is great in so many ways but as I face the struggles of everyday, I realize that the walls of safety I had gotten so used too are gone. That all the ways I thought college was preparing me are wrong. College does not teach you what it means to truly fail. You fail a class, you re-take it and it goes away. You fail at a job, that is stuck with you forever. College also does not teach you that all your worth should not be wrapped up in one grade. One grade will not determine who you are in this world. I wasted countless hours beating myself up over a bad grade because to me a grade = worth. It doesn't, I was stupid. College doesn't teach you that it does not matter how many friends you have, but the quality of those friends. I felt they if you didn't have a million different friends to always ask you to go somewhere then you weren't "experiencing college". Wrong. After I graduated, I realized I would not change the few quality friends I have for all the friends in the world. I could go on all night, but to all my other graduates: what did college not teach you?? 

You're still single??

The age old question, the question that every girl everywhere that is over the age of 20 and not in a relationship, engaged or married gets. It is usually paired with a face of utter confusion, leaving you to believe that something has to be wrong with you. I mean after all I am a shriveled up, single 23 year old with all my best days behind me, right? (enter dramatic eye roll now). I think what is so hard for people to understand is that dating now is not like it used to be. I mean am I not allowed to figure out who I am before marrying some one who will drive me crazy all the time? Am I not allowed to figure out what is it about me that makes me unique, what it is about me that I like, what it is that I want in this world with out having some guy tie me down? I am 23 and in no hurry to get married (but please dont tell my grandma since she is constantly asking me if there is "anyone special in my life?"). And why does some girl that is my age, seems to have her life kinda sorta but not really put together, and single automatically have something wrong with her? I mean I think that it's ridiculous. This is 2013 PEOPLE! This is not 1918 when people had to get married young or they were no longer desirable. I mean why can't I take time? And TRUST me when I say, the dating world is not what it used to be.

I wrote that blog about chivalry and yeah that's a lot of the problem but the other problem is where are you going to meet someone? Why do I have to have so much pressure on me that every time I go somewhere I have to be on the scout for guys? I mean I am a true believer that you will meet someone when you least expect it and that's what I plan to do. AGAIN, I do not know where to begin to look!! Do I want to meet some drunk guy at a bar who only has one thing on his mind at the time, NO! Do I want to sign up for a dating website and hope to not get catfished, NO! I am no longer in college. I used to hear, well if you dont meet someone in college, you never will. Well my bad, I forgot that the only place in the world that males populate is on college campuses!! I mean is it hard to meet guys, no. I see guys everywhere. Is it hard to meet a guy who will actually take a step, ask for your number, try to talk to you and get to know you, with out you letting them in your pants, ABSOLUTELY.

Another thing, to all you people out there who ask, "How are you still single??" WELL, that is NOT a compliment. That is you asking in a nice way, "what is wrong with you that I haven't yet figured out?" Why do I have to be coupled off? Why do I have to have someone else so that people will think I am complete? Can't I alone be enough for everyone? Why do I have to have someone who wants to date me to prove I am enough? WELL I AM 23, SINGLE, AND HAPPY!  Do I sometimes wish I had a boyfriend, sure but then I remember that more than likely I would get tired of them after 5 minutes. I am a firm believer in fate. I will meet someone one day when I least expect it. To all you other single ladies: put your hands up, give me a high five, and lets go rule the world!

Close your legs, and open your eyes!

 So I read this article, Why Chivalry is Dead, and it really got me thinking (which if you met me, you know that doesn't happen a lot). If you haven't read it, then read it right now, I'll wait....... Okay, if you still haven't read it (LAZY) it's about this guy who thinks we live in a hook up culture that's all about having drinks and sex but nothing more. No more dating. He says the real problem is that women have become complacent. I agree and disagree with this guy, and before you ask, here's why:

   >>Agree:I agree because girls of this generation have become, how do I put this gently, little SLUTS. It's true. We have all heard it, and as soon as I said that word everyone's mind went to someone you know. We have lowered our standards and (have it in our pretty little heads) that if we just sleep with a guy he will love us. A majority of our college years are spent hooking up with random people and doing the "walk of shame". It's just an acceptable part of society these days.  Well that's a load of BULL SH*T. Accept nothing less than the FLOWERS and CHOCOLATES. Make a guy WORK for it. Make him EARN it. I am not saying that they should hang off of a ferris wheel until you agree to go out with them (I mean get real, no one but Ryan Gosling can pull that off) but do small gestures. Everyone just wants to know that we care. Girls for the love of God, let them show you that they do care before you jump into bed with them. There are girls out there who try and make guys work for it, but why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?? Well you wouldn't!! 

->Disagree: I disagree because it is not all women's fault. As girls we are trained by society to be these "sex objects" and that's how you will get men. You have to be skinny, and pretty, and smart, and funny, and blah blah blah. Well I mean it's hard enough trying to figure out who you are on your own with out society, and men, telling you that if you aren't these things then you aren't desirable. (Don't worry, there will be a whole article about the other lies society tells).  I mean when was the switch anyways? When did sleeping around become acceptable and how? And where was I when this was happening?? That is the bigger question! I as a woman, REFUSE to accept full responsibility. I told you yesterday I grew lady balls when I decided to write that blog, well guys grow a pair and learn how to court!

 It boils down to is that there is no more courting. Every woman out there wants to be COURTED! If they don't then they are sitting upon a throne of lies, but we are no longer making men court us. We are accepting what ever guys give out. We have lowered our standards in order to fit this mold of society. In order to fit in. Society also teaches us the more girls a guy sleeps with, the "cooler he is" (and probably more disease ridden). Girls, if you sleep with too many guys you are a slut but if you don't give it up you are a prude. It's just like Kacey Musgraves said, "If you save yourself for marriage you're a bore, if you don't save yourself for marriage you're a whore." We can't win! So yeah girls, we have become complacent but no it's not all our fault. We need to raise our standards and accept nothing less than courting.  Furthermore, guys why does the change have to start with us? As a girl I feel like if I ask to be courted by a guy, then I am needy. Guys you don't want to put in the effort anymore and for some reason as girls we are not making you. Every time I mention anything about being courted, I feel that I get some type of feed back about how this is real life not a romantic movie. Well no duh! (if it was everyone would be singing all the time and sadly that doesn't happen in my life) but does that mean there can't be any effort? We aren't asking you for these big romantic gestures (although those would not be turned down) but is it too much to ask for you to call me? Let me know how you feel? Open my door for me? Or take me out somewhere nice once in a while with out me having to ask for it? I know that is all just sooo unreasonable, I know!

SEIZE THE DAY!

Today is the day. That statement is used all the time, but today is the day for what? What is it that you are going to do today that is SO different than any other day? I have been wanting to write a blog for many years for two specific reasons. 1) Because I am wise beyond my years and want to share my infinite wisdom. 2) Because I am absolutely hilarious and want to share my humor with all of you (So you are welcome for that). I mean seriously, there are probably a million blogs on the web right now so why not bombard you with one more?

Now, you may be wondering why I titled the blog.... SEIZE THE DAY (if you aren’t wondering I am going to tell you anyways) that is simple really: because I am 23 years old and in the most cliché way possible, I am trying to figure out who I am, and how I fit into the big ole scary world. I mean I never realized how scary this world was until I graduated college and they kicked me out the door and I was left with so many unanswered questions AND no where to look for the answers. What is the big, fancy job that I want? Why do I want to do it? But more importantly, why does it EVEN matter??? Why is SERIOUSLY the worst question in the world!

          If you made it this far and still don’t know what this blog is going to be about, or why you would want to read another blog by some dumb 23 year old on the "road to self discovery" let me tell you why: BECAUSE I SAID SO!! No, but really because the title, Seize the day... and everyone that reads this is going to SEIZE THE DAY AND do something they have always wanted to do. It can be something small or it can be something major like "Today is the day that I am going to start this blog about absolutely nothing and absolutely everything at the same time." Well quit reading this stupid blog and go do it (but come back because I am not done yet)! My blog is GOING TO BE the Seinfeld of blogs. We are going to laugh (because I always laugh at my self and want the world to laugh with me), to cry (because I am 23 years old and allowed to be an emotional basket case if I want to), and to grow and we are going to have fun doing it, because if you aren’t having fun then really what’s the point? That is the ultimate goal. No matter how old you are, you are never too old to grow and learn more about yourself. You are never to old to step out of your comfort zone (or grow lady balls as I like to say) and start the journey to self-discovery. So to the zero people I have reading this blog, WELCOME! Stay awhile and REMEMBER, SEIZE THE DAY.