Truths of being a teacher

I have been a teacher for all of 8 months and there are things I have learned as a teacher that school never could have taught me. I find my job to be entertaining, joyful, frustrating, and most of all tiring. I am here to tell you just a few things I have learned as a teacher.


1. You may never want kids but you will have about 140 a year. Yep that is correct. Just last week I went to the store to buy cookies. As the cashier rang up my cookies she asked about me having kids. I told her I already have 65 of them but could not imagine having more. She looked at me like I had three heads. I did not clarify. One because it was fun to leave her with a confused look on her face wondering what in the world I was talking about and how one person can have so many kids. But mainly because I feel like they are. Even the most annoying of my students I care about. I want them to succeed. I want them to leave me and be a better person.

2. That there is such thing as a stupid question. You cannot say this but there is. Such stupid questions include " So wait I know you spent 10 minutes explaining it but how do I do it?" or "Do we have to write in complete sentences?" or "Do we have to do all of it or can we just do the evens?". I hear these questions everyday and everyday I think "yep that was dumb"


3. Kids can understand your emotions better than you think. My students know when I am happy and having a good day. They also know when I am having a bad day.


4. Everyone will criticize you. You are young. You are new. You are taking lives into your hands and chances are everyone has a suggestion. Everyone, and I mean everyone can be a teacher. It is fact. I have heard it every day. Even my own Fiance told me he could come in and do my job for a day and be fine. It is easy. It is not hard. You come in everyday. Students come directly to their seats and sit down. They listen to every thing you say. And they do all their work. There is never issues. Kids never talk back, they never have a bad day and need to vent or cause a problem. Doesn't happen. You will not feel like you are ever doing much right. I leave school more days then not feeling that I have royally screwed some kids up and taught them nothing.



5. You will never be more tired in your life. PERIOD

6. You will never feel more joy. I love my job. I am always laughing and the moment you see a kid finally understand what you are saying it makes everything worth it.

How to slowly lose your mind

Yep. I am losing my mind. I have decided that it is time to move with my fiance. Well we decided together. Well I decided then he got on board, then I got nervous and undecided, then he kept deciding, then I said well lets slow down and not be crazy and then he just kept going. So anyways we are moving. Growing up I moved a lot but this time is different for a multitude of reasons. For one, I am moving into a house that I will call a home with a boy and living with boys can sometimes be frustrating. I do not know if you know this but boys can be messy and stinky. Well anyways we are putting his house on the market which makes me feel a lot of mixed emotions. I mean first this is not my house. I do not own it in any way, I simply moved in. Painted it pretty colors, hung my picture on every wall in the house so I could stake my claim. I even hung a picture of a giraffe and a cow because no home is complete with out a cow and giraffe picture. Well anyways, it is hard work to move. First you fix everything up all pretty, then once it is all pretty you start to wonder why you are even moving when the house you have is so cute and nice when it is all fixed up. Then my fiance comes in and tells me that I am losing my mind and we are moving. So I get back on board with everything. So then I move on and we start looking at houses. Then once again I get out of control. We set a budget and I like to be curious and I just start to look out house a little outside of the range just to see what is so pretty. I find a perfect half a million dollar house, show him, make him fall in love with it, then he looks at me to ensure that I do understand that I am just a teacher and he is just a cop and we can't afford a half a million dollar house. I then tell him its okay my other boyfriend will cover it, he looks at me, I ensure him it was a joke and then we go back to the house search. Well after about two weeks of searching for houses we get the bright idea we are gonna build and OMG it is stressful. As a female I have pinned the perfect house for years and I mean yes my house includes an indoor slide and fully stocked wine cellar. And no I do not think these demands are crazy. I am so on bored with just having a wine cellar, I volunteered to give up one of my children and in its place have a wine cellar. I was very close to getting my fiance to agree to this, but sadly he did not fall for it. I tell him those both cost the same amount financially so it shouldn't be a big deal. Anyways my point is that sometimes things in life are gonna get crazy and sometimes you start to do something and you start to plan something and then you get a little crazy and lost along the way but really that is the fun part. It is fun to get lost and crazy and get carried away in a moment and forget about the real world for a while. Trust me, as a teacher I have to live in the real world like all the time. Sometimes it is nice to live in a not so real world, forget about everything for a little and just let loose. So that is what I am going to do when planning my future home. I am going to aim for the crazy high expectations and be happy I have found someone who lets me dream and lets me believe that I am in charge and can have everything I want but always keeps me grounded and keeps me from getting too carried away with everything. He lets me be me and lets me do me but then he gently reminds me that I am in fact crazy. And when I say gently reminds me, he literally tells me I am crazy and not completely there in the brain. It is very kind. But I will say that I highly suggest building  a house. It is so much fun to look at all the options of the world around you. It is always fun in every part of life to look at all the possibilities of life around you. Sometimes it is okay to dream and reach for the dream, and sometimes it is okay to stay grounded. Plus I refuse to give up on my dream of having a wine cellar. I mean hello I told him I could print some fancy wine labels off of the internet and put them on a bunch of bottles of two buck chuck then everyone would be so impressed with our collection. Plus I mean it could get me in a magazine and then I picture the magazine shoot being like the scene in the movie beauty and the beast where Belle is riding the ladder around the library, except it will be full of wine. Anyways, this will get me in a magazine and then everyone will come and read this blog, and then Ellen will invite me on her show. I mean hello I have not given up on that dream. I have faith she is going to call me one day and ask me to come to one of her weekly dance parties that I am convinced she has. Anyways, my point is that I have lost my mind in deciding to build but in losing my mind I am finding my future.

Finding true love

              Four short days ago (possibly three), I watched a man get down on one knee, pull out a ring, and propose to a girl he had known for all of three weeks and been on a total of three dates with. The mans name was Ben, and I think he chose the right Lauren. It is hard to say. I sometimes wonder if Ben picked this Lauren because at an earlier rose ceremony, he meant to say a different Lauren but felt bad for going back so just was like " OOOHHH EFF IT!" I will let her win. I am a bachelor lover. I would go on the show in a heartbeat, well maybe take a few heart beats since I am getting married to a man I truly love, But I mean if Zac Efron or Time Tebow suddenly decided to be the bachelor I might struggle with not signing up. In the interest of fairness if someone like Emma Stone or Jennifer Lawrence signed up I would let him go. I mean I tell him all the time we should both go find old rich people, either marry them or make us like them as more than their kids, get money and live rich forever. 

                 ANYWAYS, back to the bachelor I have a few thoughts on it and love. Plus I have really missed writing so I think it is time to get back to that. I am not ashamed I love the show the bachelor and would go on it. Granted I would have to find some family to fill in for mine because they are too crazy and would never support me. I always had a plan in case I went on the Bachelor. I would get America to fall in love with me, have something come up when I was in the final three, have to go home, make my pitch about how I still want to find love, become the bachelorette, have 25 men try and court me, fly all over the world for these insane dates, and then not get engaged, date the guy for a few months after the show, realize that once the camera stops rolling so does the wooing and then get tired of him, have a dramatic break up,America still loves me, then go on Bachelor in paradise (because once you are on the bachelor apparently you do not have to have a real job anymore) then chill on the beach for a few months, come home, do constant promotions for the show, marry the guy I am currently with because I do not want anyone else and then well that is the end of my plan. 

             Now I am very torn about the bachelor and the whole love thing. Like Jojo said in the last episode " I am tired of competing for people for love." I had two things to say to her, 1) the entire premise of the show is that you go on and compete against other women for love. It is almost like the hunger games sometimes and a fight to the death for a man. Or maybe even like survivor. Man, it would be so much better if instead of giving out roses the person that was being rejected was told something like "You are the weakest link. GOOD BYE" or " You have been voted out of the Bachelor mansion and then take her candle and blow it out. Much more entertaining. and 2) You had an ex boyfriend at home who wanted you back, you said no to continue competing for love and to go on a show and make people compete for you. Girl you are confused. Plus I bet that Chad guy is PISSSSSSED. But I will support you and remind you that you do you boo boo, YOU DO YOU.

        Do I think you can find love on the Bachelor? YES. Do I think it can turn out to be true and lasting love? YES ( looking at you Sean and Catherine). Do I think they should get engaged at the end of three weeks of knowing each other, going on three dates, and up until you say yes to a proposal knowing your bae is dating other girls? UMM NO. Hard pass on that. If my current man friend had proposed one day after telling some other girl he loved her, and 5 minutes after breaking up with the other girl then I would have been like 'BOY you best get up off that knee and quit playing." I think that when you first meet someone you feel alot of lust and attraction. I believe in love at first sight. I believe that even if it is love at first sight, you best see what that person looks like in the morning and smell their stank morning breath before you know for sure. I knew my current fiance loved me (or was blind and crazy, not sure which yet) after the first time he saw me fresh in the morning with my hair looking like Medusa and my breath smelling like some stank dragon breath. THAT IS LOVE! 

        The bachelor sets you up perfect for love, helicopter ride, exotic locations, fancy dinners, private concerts. Your first date with these people is not what would happen if they met you at the local bar and asked you out. I want the bachelor to have a 3 months later episode where they follow the couple around for a day. See them go on a date to a nice Italian restaurant ( that is located in America and called Olive Garden because lets be foreal if they guy in real life had the money to rent helicopters and fly to exotic locations for dates, the he is not a Bachelor. He is on his 5th wife) come home where his dirty socks are on the living room floor and his dishes are piled up in the sink. Show us the real life. I believe that Ben and Lauren are in a lust stage. The lust wears off, you get into the real world, and these couples break up. MAYBE if instead of getting ENGAGED to be MARRIED three crazy dates in, you agreed to DATE like NORMAL people for a while, the pressure would be off. 

        In the end I will sit back and watch every season of the show and cheer for the craziest person on their. Lets be for real, the crazies always know what they are doing. They are the smart ones. They get people talking. They get people invested. The producers want them to stay until they literally can't anymore, then they get to be on every spin off ever and they are always famous. Hello, very smart. Plus I will always have a special place in my heart for poor Olivia who got stranded on an island, in the middle of a HURRICANE for a girl who list her job as a TWIN! Being a twin is not a job. I think if I went on the show I would think of a crazy profession like "Wine Fan". It is just as much of a job as chicken enthusiast. 

     So to sum up. I love the Bachelor. I wish them all the love and happiness in the world. I just wish the bachelor would show us real life with these couples. Life when the camera stops, things go to normal and you have real struggles. My advice to any one out there looking for love is to not mistake Lust for love. They may at times feel the same but when the lust goes away, if there is no real love there, you have nothing. My second piece of advice is to do not say yes to a proposal to a man who has been dating other women up until the moment he proposes. That is just rude.

#Relationship goals

I, Jennifer Johnson, have been victimized personally by Regina George. In this instance Regina George is the internet and the stupid society we live in today. I do not know if you have seen the post lately, or watched any rom-com ever, or read a Nicolas Sparks movie, or maybe watched Hallmark Channel, But all of these things are personally attacking me daily! They are showing me images of what true love should be and how true love should work, well honey as someone who is truly in love, let me tell you that is not reality. Once you are in a relationship a true goal would be to come home and not have to do the dishes or sweep the floor. Shit that is a goal. A true goal would not to have to worry about what is for dinner every single day because you " ARE A WOMAN WHO IS SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF HER MAN>" Honey, this is not 1915 and I do not know if you have seen my man but he can feed himself. A true goal is being able to come home after a long day at work, but my sweats on, and be able to sit on the couch with my fiance for the rest of the night with no worries. These are true goals. All that other crap is dumb. You have probably seen the picture of the guy who sent his girlfriend a dress and told her to be ready at a certain time and she acted like she was so excited. LIE! Chances are the dress did not fit and the girl was not ready at that time,even though they had a reservation. The truth is I made myself the victim. I was the one who fell into the trap. I believed that all men would be like Noah from The Notebook and write me one letter for every single day we were apart, when in reality girls you should be thankful if you get one text message while you are apart. I mean I always think, if Noah can write her that many letters how can you not text me back? That is not fair to me to have to think that way because of stupid movies. And all these relationship goals pictures, heres a newsflash "THEY ARE POSED" DUH its called modeling. I am not saying men out there do not do nice things for their spouses, but I am saying when they do it is often not what you expect. My fiance wakes up in the morning and makes me coffee before I go to work To him, that is a grand gesture. To me it is a sweet and thoughtful thing to do. Men are wired stupidly while us ladies are smarter. I watch Hallmark daily and those men are always on it. I get caught up and think "Well I don't see my boyfriend lighting up the entire city in lights to prove his love" instead I see dirty dishes in the sink but his clothes that have been laying on the bathroom floor for days has now been moved. I feel victimized and I take it out on him. On the flip side, Fella you best recongize that we females loves the stupid goey romantic crap. Not all the time but any female who says she doesn't like it, is a liar! A BIG OL LIAR. Everyone likes to be made to feel special. Everyone likes to be able to tell their friends about the wonderful thing their spouse did for them. Everyone wants to be the next picture that says relationship goals. It is human nature. I love the human I have decided to spend the rest of my life with on a cold chicago day while I was in my pajamas. It was never how I pictured it. Nothing is. My relationship goals was that when you live with someone you come home to them every night and get to have dinner with them. FALSE. My relationship goal was that you always have a date to everything you want to go to. FALSE. My relationship goals was alot of things that will never happen. I am learning new goals are. I am learning to accept that a true goal is just wanting the dishes to be cleaned and floors to be swept. A relationship goal is having food ready when you get home,whether they are eating with you, because its nice to not have to worry. A relationship goal is asking me if I want to go to the bathroom first so that it doesn't stink when I am getting ready.I will always get mad when there are no romantic gestures. As a female I will always feel under appreciated for all I do and the fact he is not writing it across the sky how awesome I am. I am only human. But ladies of the world, it time to set some real relationship goals. Ones that are long lasting.

Perpetually Single to recently engaged

I read a article recently called "Dating is a game, so play to win" It got me to thinking "WHAT THE HELL IS IT THAT YOU ARE WINNING?" Love? Marriage? Kids? And if I am dating like it's a game and I want to win, then I could make anyone fall in love with me. Hello, I was single and loving it. I loved the "dating game." The getting dressed up and picked up for a night out on the town. The doors being held open for you and getting to be be out with a person who was trying to WOW you. I mean maybe that is a gaame. IF it was then I should have been an MVP because I was playing the h -e-double hockey sticks out of that game but I guess maybe I wasn't in it to win it until now. I think my version of winning was being "WOED: for a few weeks then casually telling them good bye. I also accepted dates with just about everyone who as because it was so fun. I loved dating. It was a game and I think I never played to win until now. I mean if I have to say I was an excellent date and loads of fun. But then I found "the one", my Prince Charming, well thats not the right word for him. He is more like my well I'm not sure what the correct character correlation would be. But anyways.There are many stages one must go through when they have to accept they have found the one they want to be with forever. First, you have to accept that forever is a really really really long time. You also have to accept that life is not as Disney movies would have you believe it is. Or as any rom com would have you believe it is. At times it is so much better than that, and at times its is so much worse. So if you are a perpetually single person and want to know if there is a way to over come it then I am here to help because I have a phD in dating. It's a fact. You get this phD when you date a string of questionable people and look back and think "WOW. I am an idiot." Since that has been my entire dating history up until now, I am more than qualified to speak on this matter. And if you don't agree, then I have to say you are smart because I have no idea what I am talking about and make horrible decisions in life. So the following are the steps on my journey: 

1. Meet a man but more importantly, the RIGHT man. This seems like common sense, but that is definitely something I have lacked in my life. I dated my fair share of Mr. Wrong. In the past I used to be perfectly okay with dating Mr. Wrong because I wasn't looking for anything. But then I met Mr. Right, and for weeks, I refused to accept that because I am niave. 

2. Quit being a moron and accept you have found Mr. Right. This is something I refused to do. I dated and kept falling harder and harder and harder but refused to accept it. I just kept thinking, we will break up eventually. 

3. Realize that while if you were a man, you would be smarter your spouse, they are doing the best they can. This has been very hard for me to accept, since I am dating someone who does things that absolutely infuriate me. Which is probably why I have been single for so long, because guys are just dumb. They also are not mind readers which is really stupid and really a skill they all need to be able to possess because it would save me alot of problems. 

4. Accept sadly life is not Nicholas Sparks movie. This one is tough but true. When you watch these movies and see all these great grand romantic gestures, know its not gonna happen in real human being life. Not saying that they don't do nice things for you. Sometimes it's hard to realize that the small things you have no idea you are doing, are actually really romantic ideas for them. For instance, I HATE sour candy. My man friend bought "us" some to share during a movie. To him he was being very sweet and kind and romantic. Also when you are sick and think they will come over, make me food, and watch movies with me, they will. But it will be the movies they want, you will more than likely make the food, and they think this is great. 

5. Just say yes. I did and I do not regret it. Sometimes I think, "What have I gotten myself into?" But it is a fun crazy journey. 

IN the end this is all terrible advice and probably a terrrible post. I really wanted to use this time to say HEY IM ENGAGED NOW! Sadly that means no more being courted since apparently I have been courted enough but I guess I can make it through. 

Texting: the double edged sword

I have heard that I am attached to my phone, and I admit first hand that I am. I always have my phone available and what this done is make me readily available to everyone. I try to break this habit. I feel like I have started to do well with not constantly checking my phone then BOOM! It's always attached to my hand again. I love texting. It is an easy way to spread information, it is an easy way to make plans, and it is an easy and fast way to get in touch with someone. I hate how attached I am to my phone, yet I know this will not change. I know this will not change because I am in a relationship where for 8-11 days that is the only way to talk to my man friend. Having a relationship strictly through texting is hardly a relationship at all. You can not tell the tone of the voice of the person you are talking to, you can not see their face when they "hear" your words, so you do not know how they are taking them. You do not know if they are typing out of anger or happiness or sadness. Texting has a way of starting arguments that no one ever intended to have. Texting has a way of making you made when you are readily available to someone and it takes them hours upon hours to respond to you. It hurts when you phone sits there and does not light up. It hurts when you feel like you live your life waiting on a text from someone, waiting on a text that may never come. It hurts when you feel that people should always be as available to you as you are to them,and they see differently. It is hard to describe. Texting really is a double edged sword. You can send a text and never have a disruption to what you are doing. You can talk to people for hours a day through text but in the end you are not really talking to them at all. You are talking to a screen. They are talking back to that screen. IT IS INSANE! I know I am not the first person to feel this way. I can't  be the only person to feel this way. I feel that is I take a little time each day for myself and do not worry about my phone then I can learn to be happier. I can learn to do more. I can learn to live more in the moment around me then in the moments in front of my face. Texting should not be the only way to communicate. Texting should be short and brief. I am going to work harder on understanding that and work harder on not texting as much. There is no reason for anyone to always be attached to their phone so from now on I won't be.

QUIT IT

I am what some people would consider a twenty-something, since I am in my early to mid 20s. I have never really figured out how that works. Am I in my early 20s until I reach 25, then since 5 is half am I in my mid for a year before I switch to my late? In other words what is the math algorithm that helps us decide at what point in our life are we at the point in our lives where people tend to want to label us? You get what I am saying or no? Any ways, I am not going to lie, sometimes being a twenty something is hard work man. Like you are supposed to have it all together but you don't. It is a constant game of comparison. Every time I feel like I have accomplished something, I get on Facebook and see someone my age who has accomplished more. I feel like I went out and had a cool adventure and that stupid One Up Susan (I don't mean like an actual susan so if you are a susan and reading this, I am not talking about you; it is just a general term I am giving) had a better one. She went somewhere cooler and happened to wear a cuter outfit in one of her pics she posted and even though I went to the same place maybe her picture gets more likes because her hair is not blown around her head like a lions mane and her out fit was more on point. WHAT EVER SUSAN I LIKE MY OUTFIT AND MY LIONS MANE! YOU CAN'T SIT WITH ME!

Anyways I am always sitting here like " Really that stoner kid from high school now has that awesome job and owns his own house? That's cool I like living with my mom"

Or " I am so happy in my relationship" checks social media " REALLY SHE"S ENGAGED!! REALLY SOMEONE LOVES HER! WHAT I AM WAY PRETTIER!!!"

And then I see how Taylor Swift is doing all this cool stuff and my dance moves are way better and it's crap that she has all this stuff.

Then all the sudden everything I thought was so great and exciting in my life suddenly seems so inadequate. It seems that someone will always have something better and cooler than I have. Someone will always be better. Then I mentally yell to myself " QUIT IT" Quit comparing yourself to everyone.

I do not think I am the only human my age who does this. I think with social media, It is a trap all people my age fall into. As humans of this age we need to make an effort not to. We need to start saying " I DO NOT CARE. THAT IS AWESOME FOR YOU BUT GUESS WHAT IT IS EQUALLY AWESOME FOR ME SO GET OUT OF HERE!"

The more I compare myself to others, the more I see what I do not have. The more I see what I have not accomplished. I MUST STOP

I need to start focusing on just the good I do. I need to focus on how I am trying to eat healthier and avoided McDonalds so win for me. I need to focus on how I am doing awesome in everything and I do not care what anyone else says. I need to learn to just be happy and quit feeling like I will never be enough or accomplish enough.

Focus on your life. Focus on YOUR happiness. Say yes because you want to, not because it will look cool and get alot of likes and jealousy. Say no because it sounds stupid with out worrying about what other people will think. Stop thinking about what they have and you don't. Think about what you have and what you can gain. Think about where your future is going. Realize you are the one who decides it, not STUPID ONE UP SUSAN. I owe it to myself to think like this and you owe it to me to listen to me and do this too. You also owe it to yourself I guess.