#Relationship goals

I, Jennifer Johnson, have been victimized personally by Regina George. In this instance Regina George is the internet and the stupid society we live in today. I do not know if you have seen the post lately, or watched any rom-com ever, or read a Nicolas Sparks movie, or maybe watched Hallmark Channel, But all of these things are personally attacking me daily! They are showing me images of what true love should be and how true love should work, well honey as someone who is truly in love, let me tell you that is not reality. Once you are in a relationship a true goal would be to come home and not have to do the dishes or sweep the floor. Shit that is a goal. A true goal would not to have to worry about what is for dinner every single day because you " ARE A WOMAN WHO IS SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF HER MAN>" Honey, this is not 1915 and I do not know if you have seen my man but he can feed himself. A true goal is being able to come home after a long day at work, but my sweats on, and be able to sit on the couch with my fiance for the rest of the night with no worries. These are true goals. All that other crap is dumb. You have probably seen the picture of the guy who sent his girlfriend a dress and told her to be ready at a certain time and she acted like she was so excited. LIE! Chances are the dress did not fit and the girl was not ready at that time,even though they had a reservation. The truth is I made myself the victim. I was the one who fell into the trap. I believed that all men would be like Noah from The Notebook and write me one letter for every single day we were apart, when in reality girls you should be thankful if you get one text message while you are apart. I mean I always think, if Noah can write her that many letters how can you not text me back? That is not fair to me to have to think that way because of stupid movies. And all these relationship goals pictures, heres a newsflash "THEY ARE POSED" DUH its called modeling. I am not saying men out there do not do nice things for their spouses, but I am saying when they do it is often not what you expect. My fiance wakes up in the morning and makes me coffee before I go to work To him, that is a grand gesture. To me it is a sweet and thoughtful thing to do. Men are wired stupidly while us ladies are smarter. I watch Hallmark daily and those men are always on it. I get caught up and think "Well I don't see my boyfriend lighting up the entire city in lights to prove his love" instead I see dirty dishes in the sink but his clothes that have been laying on the bathroom floor for days has now been moved. I feel victimized and I take it out on him. On the flip side, Fella you best recongize that we females loves the stupid goey romantic crap. Not all the time but any female who says she doesn't like it, is a liar! A BIG OL LIAR. Everyone likes to be made to feel special. Everyone likes to be able to tell their friends about the wonderful thing their spouse did for them. Everyone wants to be the next picture that says relationship goals. It is human nature. I love the human I have decided to spend the rest of my life with on a cold chicago day while I was in my pajamas. It was never how I pictured it. Nothing is. My relationship goals was that when you live with someone you come home to them every night and get to have dinner with them. FALSE. My relationship goal was that you always have a date to everything you want to go to. FALSE. My relationship goals was alot of things that will never happen. I am learning new goals are. I am learning to accept that a true goal is just wanting the dishes to be cleaned and floors to be swept. A relationship goal is having food ready when you get home,whether they are eating with you, because its nice to not have to worry. A relationship goal is asking me if I want to go to the bathroom first so that it doesn't stink when I am getting ready.I will always get mad when there are no romantic gestures. As a female I will always feel under appreciated for all I do and the fact he is not writing it across the sky how awesome I am. I am only human. But ladies of the world, it time to set some real relationship goals. Ones that are long lasting.

Perpetually Single to recently engaged

I read a article recently called "Dating is a game, so play to win" It got me to thinking "WHAT THE HELL IS IT THAT YOU ARE WINNING?" Love? Marriage? Kids? And if I am dating like it's a game and I want to win, then I could make anyone fall in love with me. Hello, I was single and loving it. I loved the "dating game." The getting dressed up and picked up for a night out on the town. The doors being held open for you and getting to be be out with a person who was trying to WOW you. I mean maybe that is a gaame. IF it was then I should have been an MVP because I was playing the h -e-double hockey sticks out of that game but I guess maybe I wasn't in it to win it until now. I think my version of winning was being "WOED: for a few weeks then casually telling them good bye. I also accepted dates with just about everyone who as because it was so fun. I loved dating. It was a game and I think I never played to win until now. I mean if I have to say I was an excellent date and loads of fun. But then I found "the one", my Prince Charming, well thats not the right word for him. He is more like my well I'm not sure what the correct character correlation would be. But anyways.There are many stages one must go through when they have to accept they have found the one they want to be with forever. First, you have to accept that forever is a really really really long time. You also have to accept that life is not as Disney movies would have you believe it is. Or as any rom com would have you believe it is. At times it is so much better than that, and at times its is so much worse. So if you are a perpetually single person and want to know if there is a way to over come it then I am here to help because I have a phD in dating. It's a fact. You get this phD when you date a string of questionable people and look back and think "WOW. I am an idiot." Since that has been my entire dating history up until now, I am more than qualified to speak on this matter. And if you don't agree, then I have to say you are smart because I have no idea what I am talking about and make horrible decisions in life. So the following are the steps on my journey: 

1. Meet a man but more importantly, the RIGHT man. This seems like common sense, but that is definitely something I have lacked in my life. I dated my fair share of Mr. Wrong. In the past I used to be perfectly okay with dating Mr. Wrong because I wasn't looking for anything. But then I met Mr. Right, and for weeks, I refused to accept that because I am niave. 

2. Quit being a moron and accept you have found Mr. Right. This is something I refused to do. I dated and kept falling harder and harder and harder but refused to accept it. I just kept thinking, we will break up eventually. 

3. Realize that while if you were a man, you would be smarter your spouse, they are doing the best they can. This has been very hard for me to accept, since I am dating someone who does things that absolutely infuriate me. Which is probably why I have been single for so long, because guys are just dumb. They also are not mind readers which is really stupid and really a skill they all need to be able to possess because it would save me alot of problems. 

4. Accept sadly life is not Nicholas Sparks movie. This one is tough but true. When you watch these movies and see all these great grand romantic gestures, know its not gonna happen in real human being life. Not saying that they don't do nice things for you. Sometimes it's hard to realize that the small things you have no idea you are doing, are actually really romantic ideas for them. For instance, I HATE sour candy. My man friend bought "us" some to share during a movie. To him he was being very sweet and kind and romantic. Also when you are sick and think they will come over, make me food, and watch movies with me, they will. But it will be the movies they want, you will more than likely make the food, and they think this is great. 

5. Just say yes. I did and I do not regret it. Sometimes I think, "What have I gotten myself into?" But it is a fun crazy journey. 

IN the end this is all terrible advice and probably a terrrible post. I really wanted to use this time to say HEY IM ENGAGED NOW! Sadly that means no more being courted since apparently I have been courted enough but I guess I can make it through.