The actual text a girl wants

I posted an article on my Facebook page earlier titled something like the 8 text all females want. I thought "Yeah I mean that is pretty cool" But then I thought those are great and all but these texts are some of the greatest of all time. So now here is my list of things I actually want to receive in a text.

1. HEY I AM AT MCDONALDS RIGHT NOW. WHAT DO YOU WANT?
those words right there are like music to my ears. To think that there is a human out there who loves me so much they are willing to sit in McDonalds drive thru line and actually think of me. I could cry. Not only that they get the golden fries from heaven and deliver them to me. If that is not love, then love does not exist.

2. GIRL, YOU LOOK JUST LIKE SHAKIRA WHEN YOU DANCE
I mean I like to think that if beyonce and shakira got together and had a child i am that child. I mean kids gave began to call me Beykira. I am that believable. Plus MY HIPS DO NOT LIE

3. YOUR HAIR IS SO MAGICAL I JUST LOOK AT IT AND I'M MEMORIZED
I think i might have spelt the wrong word there but you get the point. I have been told many times in the past that my hair is magical. I am like the girl in mean girls, my hair is so big because it is full of secrets.

4. YOU ARE SO PRETTY YOU SHOULD BE A VICTORIA SECRET ANGEL.
I mean lets be honest, if you are a Victoria Secret Angel then you have been deemed one of the top super models in the world. They are the cream of the crop

5. YOU ARE MISS AMERICA TO ME
This one is obvious since Miss America is " from sea to shining sea like lady liberty
she reigns over all she seesshe is beauty and she is graceshe is queen of 50 statesshe is elagance and taste
she is miss united states. I mean what rl doesn't want to be told she is all those things. 

6. I LOVE YOUI mean this one I have to agree with since it is kinda obvious. I mean it is kinda nice to hear every once and while. Like I don't know why people can't just tell me. 

7. I HAVE A DRINK READY Think about it. You have had a rough day. You are tired. You are angry. You are probably hungry if you are anything like me. But most importantly you are thirsty,. There is nothing like knowing that when you arrive at your destination you will be able to quench that thirst. I do not have 8 texts because I am not as needy as the girl who I am refuting. I am simple. I only need 7. 

Traveling Hobo

Sometime in the past I went on the trip of a life time. I got in my car, had my sister and best friend in the car, drove to Chicago and boarded a plane. That plane took me off to the adventure I will never forget. It took me to Europe where I got to meet some of the most amazing people I ever have in my life. Since it is throwback Thursday, I decided I would write a blog about the past and hopefully the future. I also have been inspired by a family friend of ours who is living the life and traveling across the country just getting to experience all there is to offer. SHE IS LIVING THE LIFE! I am always struck with wanderlust (that's the term right? I am not an English person so someone tell me!) Anyways, I always want to go somewhere. Even if it is in my own city, I need to get out and experience things. I need to try something I have never tried and I need to do something I have never done. I simply just need to LIVE! If I was a billionaire, or one day when I make it big as a singer or actress, I will spend every dime I have experiencing life. I will visit every where in the world. If I blow it all and become a poor hobo on the street, then I will move to a state where it is always warm and live my days on the beach building sandcastles. Or i can move somewhere tropical and open some type of stand to sell something since that always seems to work for people in the movies! I just am one of those people who gets so bored with the everyday mundane. If I am stuck in the same routine everyday I will get bored. I will get grumpy. I will want to go to a different restaurant than olive garden or O Charleys just to mix it up. I think it is a wonderful thing to have wanderlust and I think the world would be better if everyone was struck with the wanderlust bug! I think no one should settle with what is in front of us but instead strive for more and strive to learn more. One of the most valuable things I learned from that trip to Europe is about the cultures of others. I learned how they talk and I learned how different my life in America was. I learned how I was just a greedy little punk like the rest of America because I take so many things for granted, but I also learned we may not always be the best in everything. I learned that if you just sit down and talk to someone new, even if they are in the same neighborhood as you, you will learn something you never thought possible. Everyone has something new to offer. Everyone you meet, if you go into the meeting with the right attitude, will teach you something you never thought possible. I titled this blog Traveling Hobo because maybe that is what I will be doing this summer. Due to people being big stupid dummies I have my whole summer wide open before me now. I can go where ever I want. I can travel. AND I WILL! I do not care to go alone. I know KARATE. I can defend myself. I want to go somewhere never before. I will welcome all passengers. I also titled it hobo because as an unemployed 24 year old, I have about enough money to make it to Indiana. But again, I am tough. I don't need money. I can be like forest gump and run across the country. I just feel like everyone should travel. Everyone should try things. I have no technical ties holding me down. I am free and I want to capitalize on that freedom. Even if all I get to do is take day trips to random places, I am going to. I WANT ALADDIN< I WANT SOMEONE WHO CAN SHOW ME THE WORLD>

A commitment phobe making a commitment

Okay so my dating life has been a string of bad decisions. Has any one heard that quote that goes "I do not have ex's I have y's?"' Yep that was my life. I was determined to never get married because marriage is stupid. Before anyone yells at me about that if you are married and happy more power to you. I am truly happy for you, but I was always one of those people who said, I am never going to get married. I want to be like Goldie hawn and whats his face? Or Oprah and her dude. I mean they seem to be happy and have been together for like as long as I have been alive and they aint hitched yet. I couldn't see the big deal in it. But then again I am something people call a "commitment phobe" which is a really stupid term but was probably really true. So I accepted that I was a commitment phobe and set out on a goal to end that, for no other reason then to prove that I could and everyone else in my life could stick that in their juice box and suck it. Well about 6 months into my journey of trying to prove the world I was not a commitment phobe, i was simply just too cool and awesome to actual find someone that could keep my attention for a long period of time, it happened. The thing that every commitment phobe faces as some point in their life, they meet someone and develop these things people call feelings (yuck). Before that I used to be all like yuck feeling, let me just swerve on away from them. But this time I swerved and the stupid feelings swerved with me. So I go into this and I tell my friends, look its no big deal. Nothing is going to come of it we are having fun but come on, he wont stick around. But apparently he is not very smart because he has been stuck with me for almost a year now. During this time, I went through many different stages. I think this is the stages many of us perpetually single girls go through when we actually develop those dreaded things called feelings.

Stage 1: Bafflement
Not sure bafflement is a word but if it was it would mean being totally confused. Its like you have seen a unicorn or a lochnest monster. You are not real sure who this strange human being is or where they came from? You have so many questions for them like "will they understand my obsession with mcdonalds or will they think its nasty? But the most important question is 'who are you and what do I do with you now that I found you?" I mean that is my question for all the people searching for bigfoot, what you gonna do with him once you find him? Once I found this guy, I was like well what do I do with him?

Stage 2: PANIC
Holy crap, what are these feelings? What is going on? Why do I want to talk to him and see him so bad? What is HAPPENING?? WHO AM I?? I am in such a panic I don't know which way is up or which way is down. Have you ever seen the movie Dick and Jane? You know the scene where he is running around yelling "Indicted JANE INDICTED" That's what I feel like.

Stage 3: Poop your pants fear
You know this fear. It's the type of fear you have when you watch a scary movie and you are relaxing then the music starts, then your heart starts racing, you are thinking where is the killer,. WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?? SHOW YOURSELF?? NO DON"T GO IN THERE!! then they go in there and you scream and they scream and we all scream. Yeah that crap. You know with out a doubt it will end badly. You are ready to pull a chandler bing and tell them you are moving to Yemen because you hear Yemen is nice this time a year and you are sure the people of Yemen will totally love you and some old Yemenite will talk you in and cook for you and you will become the queen of Yemen. That has got to be better then this right? Yep Yemen it is!

Stage 4; NOT HAPPENING
Friends" you actually like him"
Me " No I don't. You have no idea what you are talking about? Who is 'him'? What ever. Shut up"
You start to think I mean I don't actually like him, I mean come on. It's me you are talking about. Get out of her with that Jargon

Stage 5: I DON'T NEED NO MAN
I AM A BAD ASS WOMAN WHO DON"T NEED NO MAN. I got my single lady swagger and you can't stop it. Nope I will not smile when I see it's you that text me *bing one new message* S*** after this one I will not smile when he text me. So what he tells me good morning, It is a good moring I don't need him to tell me. and maybe it's a bad morning. He shouldnt be telling me what kind of morning it is. THIS IS MY LIFE! DON"T YOU TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE" I whip my hair back and forth, my hips dont lie, I AM BEYONCE!

Stage 6: Acceptance
It has happened. You have jumped off the feelings cliff, hit every loving rock along the way and fallen directly into the commitment pool. There was no way to stop it. You did you single ladies dance right over the edge. On the way down you start to feel lighter. You are happy to have gone over the cliff. You realize you could have walked away and not cared but then your life would have been plagued with the 'what if I hadn't been a big stupid chicken and given him a chance" You accept that maybe commitment is not so bad and maybe if you give him a chance it will work out and if it doesn't well you tried. You opened yourself up. I mean even miss independent woman Beyonce has a man so get off me.