Forgiveness is more than saying sorry

Just to get this blog off on the right note, here is the song that inspired the title. Now while that is a funny song, I have learned recently that people think that you saying sorry and trying to move on is a shameful act. Sorry has somehow become a word that makes you "less", makes you "weak", makes you the one that is a "push over" and just wants 'acceptance". What I don't understand is why? Why does asking for forgiveness have to mean any of that? Why can't saying you are sorry simply just mean, look I am sorry. I am a real live breathing human being and sometimes I do things that hurt others. Sometimes I say things I shouldn't. Sometimes I do things I shouldn't. Sometimes I act ways I shouldn't. I think people think if you are saying sorry, you are admitting who you are isn't right. That you are apologizing for being who you are but that is not how I look at it. In my eyes, saying sorry shows exactly who I am. I am compassionate. I care if my actions hurt others, especially those I care about. I also want to show, "look I said what I meant, I feel the way I feel and I am sorry if that hurts you. If does not mean I don't care. If you think I am a bad person then I am sorry you feel that way. One thing I will never be sorry about is the fact that I am adult enough to say sorry. That I am confident enough in myself to know when Hey I'm sorry I messed up. I am sorry I made you feel the way you do. I think that it is more empowering. I think sorry alone, is not enough. Sorry is a start. Sorry is a word everyone knows. Sorry gets you set on the right foot. The first part of the title was forgiveness. Forgiveness is hard. If you have ever talked to me a day in your life, you know I am stubborn. If I want to be mad, I will be mad. If I want to say sorry, I will. If I put my mind to it, it will be done. Plain and simple. Forgiveness is the hardest part of anything. When people hurt you and they come to you and say sorry, it makes me feel weak to just forgive them. Shouldn't they have to work for it? Shouldn't they have to grovel? In reality no. But when someone comes to you and says sorry, it is easy to say no you are not. If you were sorry you wouldnt have done it. If you are sorry prove it. I am tired of words not mattering anymore. I find my self saying sorry alot, I bump into a table, I say sorry. WHO AM I EVEN TALKING TO?? It does not matter, all that matters is that maybe I made the table feel better and if nothing else, I feel better. From now on I am never going to feel bad for saying sorry. I will never feel bad for accepting, Hey sorry you took it that way. hey table sorry you just broke my table. And I think this post has turn into a bunch of rambling because my brain is all over the place. Okay, bye.